You already know me. I am a mother, a wife, a daughter, a sister, and a friend. I am also a blogger and author who fights every day with Auditory Processing Deficit and possibly Visual Processing Deficit.
I was always a huge reader, even while in middle schools. As soon as I could read, I wanted to read everything. Still do but have to find the time.
I took a class in high school that opened my eyes and heart to writing. I never thought about writing my own stories until I signed up for Writing Seminar in my Junior year of high school. I was excited.
My teacher, Mr. McHeffey, had us write mostly poetry, but we did get to write short stories, too. Just not as many as poems. I am thinking of posting some of those poems on here. I am definitely not a poet, but I did have fun writing them.
Mr. McHeffey explained things in a way his students, as well as myself, could understand for the most part about poems, writing, and the different aspects that go into writing. So, there I sat in a class with my classmates and just wrote.
I did have a hard time writing though because I had to do it in different ways. I can’t rhyme to save my life I found that out through this class, though I did try. My mom had to help me with those poems.
But this class opened my eyes and pushed the door open for my imagination to run wild.
My stories were very rough. But I kept at it. Mr. McHeffey seemed to like my work thought at least. I got an A in that class.
I continued to write in college here and there while studying to become a Preschool Teacher. I worked as a teacher throughout college, and I loved every minute. I had my struggles as a teacher because of my learning disabilities, but I always pulled through when it came to writing my Lesson Plans and making it fun for the young ones.
My stories were still rough, but I worked hard on using my voice, even if my voice is different than most authors.
After I graduated, I started to think about my writing and wondering if I could one day become published. I was afraid though because of the way I write isn’t the best. I am still learning and still looking for ways to improve my writing. I have taken classes in the past. (I need to start doing that again.)
But I kept writing. I have several books started and only a few finished.
After I finished a book several years ago, I tried to get it published but was only rejected. I felt down and thought about if my writing is even worth it. Would I ever be able to share my worlds with others?
I was struggling. My mind couldn’t figure out the simplest things like writing a synopsis or a query letter. I know a lot of other writers/authors have a hard time doing this. For me, it’s like my mind stops working all together.
This is why I think I also have Visual Processing Deficit. I read and re-read samples and how to write both the query letter and synopsis, but I couldn’t do it. I still can’t seem to do it. I just can’t seem to write a good one. I freeze.
Even writing the book itself, I freeze at moments. I know readers won’t like how I write because it’s not intellectual enough or “grown up enough” but this is how I write. I do my best. I look up different words to use to make them better. I try to use words I’ve never used before. But fighting to write “grown up” instead of younger is hard. Trying to write in a way readers will understand me in my voice is hard.
I am still writing today. I love writing and I won’t stop, learning disabilities or not. I can’t stop writing. Though I am constantly distracted per you guessed it, my LDs. (Took me a little over 3 hours just to write this blog because of everything around me and my brain.)
I struggle every day with my brain, words, and doing what I can to make my books good enough for publication and good enough for my readers. I am even struggling to get my thoughts in order for this blog.
The constant battle is tiring. Because of the constant battle, I have taken breaks and have stopped writing all together for quite a while. But I always come back to it. I just need to write. I can’t fully stop because then I wouldn’t be happy. Sure, I could find something else to do, but I know, readers or not, published or not, I am meant to write.
Some ways I keep myself going is by doing my blog, writing short stories from prompts, and participating in NaNoWriMo, aka National Novel Writing Month, that happens every year in November. I have been participating since 2009. I have only missed 2 years, and I have “won” every time. How do I “win”? By writing 50,000 words or more in a new story or by editing 50,000 words or more.
As an Author
I have two books published (a horror paranormal and a children’s book), a short story in an anthology was just published, and waiting for 10 children’s books to be published with a great Korean company called Reading Gate. I must be doing okay with battling my learning disabilities because I have finally been published, but I am still struggling. (I still say I have Visual Processing Deficit even if I wasn’t diagnosed because of my struggles.)
I am still editing my horror paranormal book, editing my young adult paranormal book, writing a horror romance, typing up a fantasy, and blogging. I also have a few other children’s books I want to get published and have more to write. I have mysteries (cozy and not), more fantasies, more horror, more young adult, more paranormal, maybe a Steampunk, and who knows what else to write. I have two writing journals full of writing ideas. I have several books started that need to be finished.
I won’t allow my learning disabilities to stop me from being a blogger or an author. I just want the struggling to end. Like I said, it is tiring trying to get my thoughts together, to find the right words, to write a book that not only I enjoyed writing, but for others to read. Same goes with my blogs. My voice is different than most because I have learning disabilities.
And as I said in my other blog, I don’t talk about my disabilities a lot because I don’t want to be bullied any longer and I don’t want people to think I use them as a crutch. I never have and never will use my learning disabilities as a crutch!
But I feel I should tell others so those who read my books, or my blogs, understand me better. I am different, I embrace my differences, but I tire of my differences, too.
But do I add this information to my query letters, so agents and publishers know? That part, I truly don’t know.
Should I add this information in my About the Author pages for my books from now on? Again, I don’t know.
Should I write books with children, young adult, and adult characters with my learning disabilities? This one I think should be a huge yes. I will do my best to portray someone like me in my books because I do think more books with characters with learning disabilities are needed. But it is still hard for me to think about how to write those characters even though I have it myself. I will try and will do my best as an author to write books that have characters like me present.
I am an author and I have Auditory Processing Deficit and Visual Processing Deficit. I am real, I have feelings, and I matter just as much as the next guy. And so does anyone else with a learning disability or any disability.
I will post links to my books as well as to my other blogs about me and my learning disabilities. Please, check them all out. Thank you.